A chuckle for seniors

[Kepy]

  Garage Door. 

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.   His assistant walked up to him and said, " This morning when you left   your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled bythe   question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and   zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' 

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two   flat tyres.    

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.   I know you're about my age.   How do you feel?'   

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'   

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'   

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

  

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:    'So I hear you're getting married?'   

'Yep!'   

'Do I know her?'   

'Nope!'   

'This woman, is she good looking?'   

'Not really.'   

'Is she a good cook?'   

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'   

'Does she have lots of money?'   

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'   

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'   

'I don't know.'   

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'   

'Because she can still drive!'   

  

Three   old guys are out walking.   

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'   

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'   

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

  

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'   

'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?'   

'   Twelve thirty..'   

  

Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.    A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a   gorgeous young woman on his arm.   

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 

'You're really doing great, aren't you?'     

  Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''    The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur;   be careful.'

  

One more. . ...!   

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice creamparlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully,up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.     The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'   

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'   

[Lucky2]

Thanks Kepy, I really liked the last one.

Len

[Phantom Scroller]

hee heeeeeee

[Fab4]

Hi Kepy:

Good ones

Seems like I read this somewhere before

Must be a deja vu moment....lol

Fab4

[merlin]

Nice one....a good chuckle before bed time....................

[Scrolling Steve]

I am still smiling !

Edited October 16, 2015 by Scrolling Steve

[LarryEA]

That gave me a smile !        (too young to chuckle)

Edited October 16, 2015 by LarryEA

[amazingkevin]

 

  Garage Door. 

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.   His assistant walked up to him and said, " This morning when you left   your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled bythe   question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and   zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' 

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two   flat tyres.    

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.   I know you're about my age.   How do you feel?'   

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'   

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'   

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

  

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:    'So I hear you're getting married?'   

'Yep!'   

'Do I know her?'   

'Nope!'   

'This woman, is she good looking?'   

'Not really.'   

'Is she a good cook?'   

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'   

'Does she have lots of money?'   

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'   

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'   

'I don't know.'   

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'   

'Because she can still drive!'   

  

Three   old guys are out walking.   

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'   

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'   

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

  

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'   

'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?'   

'   Twelve thirty..'   

  

Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.    A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a   gorgeous young woman on his arm.   

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 

'You're really doing great, aren't you?'     

  Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''    The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur;   be careful.'

  

One more. . ...!   

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice creamparlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully,up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.     The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'   

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'   

 

LOL, I live this ,

[Falcon]

Very funny

[wombatie]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:   Good ones.

 

Marg

[ike]

some of then hit close to home.