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A woman shoots her husband for stepping on the clean floor. A police officer arrives on the scene and phones the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

 

 

Teacher: Give me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the ...

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: Okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 

 

Late one night, a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "Hey idiot! It's 3:30 in the goddamn morning!"

 

Marg

Posted
21 hours ago, wombatie said:

A woman shoots her husband for stepping on the clean floor. A police officer arrives on the scene and phones the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

 

 

Teacher: Give me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the ...

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: Okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 

 

Late one night, a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "Hey idiot! It's 3:30 in the goddamn morning!"

 

Marg

Wow ,the first one went immediately to my friend that's getting married!thanks .I'm trying to save him,lol!

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