Don't mess with Ol' folks

[Old Dust]

FW: A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...

 

 

 

*Older Woman**: Is there a problem, Officer?*

*Traffic Cop**: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. *

 

*Older Woman**: Oh, I see. *

 

*Traffic Cop**: Can I see your license please? *

 

*Older Woman**: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. *

 

*Traffic Cop**: Don't have one? *

 

*Older Woman**: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. *

 

*Traffic Cop**: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration

papers please.

*

 

*Older Woman**: I can't do that. *

 

*Traffic Cop**: Why not? *

 

*Older Woman**: I stole this car. *

 

*Traffic Cop**: Stole it? *

 

*Older Woman**: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.*

 

*Traffic Cop**: You what!? *

**

*Older Woman**: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk

if you want to see *

 

*The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his

car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars

circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car,

clasping his half drawn gun. *

 

*Officer 2**: Ma'am, could you step out of yo**ur vehicle

please!** *

 

*The woman steps out of her vehicle. *

 

*Older woman**: Is there a problem sir? *

 

*Officer 2**: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen

this car and murdered the owner. *

 

*Older Woman**: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!*

 

*Officer 2**: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,

please.**

*

 

*The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty

trunk.** *

 

*Officer 2**: Is this your car, ma'am? *

 

*Older Woman**: Yes, here are the registration papers. *

*The traffic cop is quite stunned.** *

 

*Officer 2**: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving

license.

*

 

*The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and

hands it to the officer. *

*The officer examines the license quizzically. *

 

*Officer 2**: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by

my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole

this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! *

 

*Older Woman**: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

 

John

 

Old Dust

[wombatie]

Loved it.

 

Marg