Lexophilia

[orangeman]

· How does Moses make tea?  Hebrews it.

 

· Venison for dinner again?  Oh deer!

 

· A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

 

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

 

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

 

· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 

· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

 

· I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

 

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

 

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

 

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

 

· When chemists die, they barium.

 

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

 

· I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

 

· Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

 

· I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

 

· Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

 

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

· Broken pencils are pointless.

 

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

 

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

· All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.

 

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

· Velcro - what a rip off!

 

· Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

[LarryEA]

A good laugh. All are a hit

[Phantom Scroller]

Brilliant one liners. funny I'll have to remember a few. Roly

[Scrolling Steve]

Thanks for sharing ! :) :D :lol: !!

[Falcon]

Thanks for sharing funny one liners!

[amazingkevin]

Smiled all the way thru them!

[Lucky2]

Funny

Len

[merlin]

Made me smile......................

[ike]

I likes them all except the old aged one.

[kywoodmaster]

I love one liners but I am like Ike, I could without that last one.