GrampaJim Posted February 25, 2018 Report Posted February 25, 2018 CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: OK! That’s what I want … GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I detest vegetables. GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How the hell do you know? GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. CALLER: WHAT THE???? GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago… Dan, wombatie, New Guy and 8 others 2 7 2 Quote
jerry1939 Posted February 25, 2018 Report Posted February 25, 2018 I have learned that Google knows more about me than I do. Thanks for the posting Jim. Quote
WayneMahler Posted February 25, 2018 Report Posted February 25, 2018 Great post, thank you. Scary to think that much information is readily available about you though. Quote
Scrolling Steve Posted February 25, 2018 Report Posted February 25, 2018 Google does not think that was funny ! Quote
GrampaJim Posted February 25, 2018 Author Report Posted February 25, 2018 1 hour ago, Scrolling Steve said: Google does not think that was funny ! I know - they told me! (Just kidding) Fab4 1 Quote
Phantom Scroller Posted February 25, 2018 Report Posted February 25, 2018 I asked google and it said sorry I don't understand I'm still learning. WHAT! Quote
Rockytime Posted February 26, 2018 Report Posted February 26, 2018 That's probably not such a stretch. Quote
amazingkevin Posted February 26, 2018 Report Posted February 26, 2018 17 hours ago, GrampaJim said: CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: OK! That’s what I want … GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I detest vegetables. GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How the hell do you know? GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. CALLER: WHAT THE???? GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago… I always wondered about things like this,Big brother is watching!!!!!!!!! Quote
Fab4 Posted February 26, 2018 Report Posted February 26, 2018 16 hours ago, Scrolling Steve said: Google does not think that was funny ! If Google thought this was funny they would have to change their name to "Giggle" Fab4 Scrolling Steve 1 Quote
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