The blondes are back

[scrollerpete]

 

 

With apologies to the blondes.

 

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.  The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".  She goes downstairs.  The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"  The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?  They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.  So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened, so she blew a little harder, & still nothing happened.  Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.  The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!  You need to roll up the windows first.'  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos.  She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took  it to the clerk to ask what it was.  The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos, it keeps hot things hot,  and cold things cold.'  'Wow', said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'  So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.  Her boss saw it on her desk.  'What's that,' he asked?  'Why, that's a thermos, it keeps hot things hot & cold things  cold,' she replied. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'  The blond replied, 'Two popsicles & some coffee.'  +++++++++++++  AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST  A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.  Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'  The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'  The boss, feeling sorry for her says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'  'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it & I have the best chance of doing that here.'  The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.  A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.  He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.  'No!' exclaims the blonde.  'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'     Blondes Are The Best!!!

 

 

 

[teachnlearn]

A blonde spends a day cutting a pattern on a scrollsaw. She proudly shows it to her husband who exclaims, "Its BEAUTIFUL!''  I would love to see it when you put a blade in!! RJF

Edited March 26, 2022 by teachnlearn

[Dan]

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, " Doctor, everywhere I touch it hurts." The doctor says, "I don't understand. Can you show me?" So the blonde gently touches her head with her index finger and says, "Ouch", touches her elbow and says, "ouch", and touches her knee and says, OUCH". The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you...you have a broken finger."

[wombatie]

Why are blonde jokes so short??????????

So that men can remember them....................

Marg (a blonde)