Runa

Hi Len,

So sorry to hear you went through a difficult time. Relationships are so hard for sure. I hope you are able to see the positive side of life as I am also trying. I have to say without my son, i'd have given up this fight.

I am divorcing and had to initiate. We have been together for 7 years and have a 3 year old. My husband blames our child for things that have not been working. He also has bipolar and when the bad side strikes, oh man the verbal abuse and the violent throwing that happens. I tried hard to help him grow up to be a husband and a father but he just doesnt want too and i cannot keep going anymore. I am going to be 40 n3xt month and worried because i gave up my bsuiness development career to put efforts into my family. I made a ton of money and my husband certainly misses that. But i am not going to compromise on my sons life by traveling and there was no way i could count on my husband to be a parent because he just isnt interested. We planned this child and he wanted this more. Guess he just wanted support for when he gets old and dint have a clue what a child would need.

I am starting my life from scratch, looking for job with not much travel and also trying to build a home based business that i can count on. I have so far to go to raise my 3 year old and it scares me but scrolling has been my therapy. 

Fell free to message me if you need any support as well.

Runa

Sweetie, thanks for the offer of support, but it is you who should be supported. You're a young single mother, who is striking out on her own. I am fine, my situation is all finalized as of today. The final papers were signed, and I'm in the process of getting on with my life. I have decided that what has happened to me, was the best thing ever. I stopped and thought about the last forty years, and it really wasn't all that nice or good. I was under constant stress, my EX was very domineering. I was always being suspected of doing something I shouldn't, and I never ever did a thing. It was a miserable life, but because I was so in love I was blind to it. It is so nice, not to live like that any longer. Our separation almost killed me, and my heart will never be the same. I still love this woman for some reason, and I think I always will even with all that she has done. I am  a bit upset, with the way I still feel towards her. And what makes things worse, is that she knows I still love her. But after today, hopefully, I'm done with her. I don't care what she does, and I could care less where she goes. I want her to do for me, what I'm doing for her. I'm leaving her alone, and letting her get on with her life. But my daughter visits me and we talk, and even though I ask her not to, I'm pretty sure she does. I don't know what to do about it, I don't want to be mean to her. But it's got to stop, I want my privacy. My EX chose to move on, so what I do is now none of her business. She claims she worries about me, I told her to not be such a lier. If she cared about me, she wouldn't have done what she did. It caused me to get so depressed, that all I wanted to do was commit suicide. She knew that would happen, because she mentioned it the day she left. Another issue I have with my EX, is that she is always checking out my medical reports and I can't stop her. There is supposed to be patient confidentiality, but because she's an RN she has access to my charts. And there's no sense in reporting her for what she's doing, because she will just get one of her nurse friends to open my file for her. I am trying to move on with my life, and as long as she keeps interfering I can't. I have met another beautiful woman a city away, we are taking things slow. I did spend a couple of days with her last week, and I plan to spend a couple more days with her this weekend. Where she lives is a bit of an issue, the drive home at night is quite long. She is a wonderful woman, but she had a husband that sounds a lot like yours was. He was very mean to her, but he never physically hurt her. He would roar at her and he was just plain mean, along with throwing things. Like your EX, hers was bi-polar also. She is now afraid to accept love, she doesn't know if she can trust men. It is very hard to get to know her, but she is starting to come around. I treated her to a couple of days, of nothing but love and attention. And there was nothing sexual about it, there was a lot of hugging and kissing though. We sat on the couch and listened to the Eagles, and we talked about our pasts. We went to buy a few groceries, and it was so much fun doing that. I took her to the movies, and she said she had never been there with her husband. He wouldn't take her anywhere, but he was great at spending her money. Everything we did over those two days was fun, it was an amazing two days. Hopefully, the two days we spend together this weekend, will be fun also. We talked for hours before we meet, I would call her every night at 8 o'clock. And we would talk for hours, we would talk until 5 in the morning. Because of her EX she would like to take things slow, and I'm fine with that. I would like to take things slowly also, I don't want us to make a mistake. I want to be sure we're good together, because I'm looking for a lifetime partner. I assured her that I was in no hurry to move things along faster, I told her would take things at her pace. But because of her past, she has a hard time believing I'm real. She doesn't know what to think, nobodies ever treated her the way I do. It was strange when we first started talking, everything either one of us mentioned, the other one had in common. We have so much in common, you'd think we were clones. And I cooked supper for us, she has never had a man do that for her. She ended up being overwhelmed with all I did, she couldn't believe life could be like that. She loved the back and foot rub I gave her, and that's something she had never experienced before either. She is a beautiful looking woman, but unfortunately, she was married to an a-hole. Any man that disrespects a woman, is not much of a man as far as I'm concerned. For me, women are to always be treated with respect. They are special creatures, and they all deserve to be loved. And they all should be told daily how much you love them, it's the least a man should do for his partner. Women are special to me, and I do all I can to keep them happy. I feel as bad for you as I do for her, you both have been very unlucky in love. And I would love to be able to help you out also, if there's ever anything I could do to help, please let me know. Or if you would just like to exchange messages, or to have someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I hate what you've gone through, no woman should ever have to go through what you did. And for it to happen with you having such a young child, only makes things worse. And I can't understand why he wouldn't be happy to have a child, unless he is jealous of the child. And what's even harder to understand, is how he could be like that with a son. I've known men who got upset with having a daughter, but never with having a son. I'm sorry, but your EX was a horrible jerk. And believe it or not, I personally think you are now better off. Yes this new life is going to be tough, but you sound like the type of woman who can handle it. I may be wrong, but you read like you are well grounded. And hopefully, you have some family or friends that can assist you, you will need assistance while trying to get things straightened out. I hope things work out for you, you probably are a sweetheart that was mistreated. Move on past this, and try to forget the abuse. Get on with your life, it will help time fly by and you'll feel better. Take care of yourself and your son, and don't hesitate to contact me if you want to chat. Or if you want a shoulder to cry on, mine are fairly strong. Good-bye Sweetie, I wish you luck as you go forward with your life.