Have a chuckle on me.

[wombatie]

Ever wonder about those people who spend $5.00 each on those little bottles
of Evian water?Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section
in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)

OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one person
enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives
a race car is not called a racist?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and U.P.S. were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final
exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the
mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The'
and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?

 

Marg

[Lucky2]

lol, Marg, there's lots of laughs in this one, thanks for the chuckles.

Len

[dgman]

Marg, Marg, Marg !!!

[Scrappile]

Ohhh, thanks Marg.  Now I go to bed smiling.

[Aggie]

Nice Marg, thanks for the laughs.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Aggie

[merlin]

Oh those are wonderful bunch of giggles before bedtime............Thanks a heap neighbour 

 

Merlin.................

[Dan]

Wonderful! 

[Scrolling Steve]

Thanks Marg !

[WayneMahler]

Thanks Marg. Great way to start my day off

[dansnow]

Thank you for the laughs!!!!

 

[Roberta Moreton]

So funny!

[jerry1939]

All are great (with the possible exception of the one about bald men ).  Thanks a bunch Marg.

[bobscroll]

Really educational Marg! Sooooo Funny ,

Bob 

[bandaideman]

Thanks Marg they were great but next time may want to post a WARNING go to the bathroom before reading. Excuse me while i go change.

[GPscroller]

Lots of smiles and wisdom here Marg, thanks.

Jeff

Edited November 14, 2017 by GPscroller

[Gordster]

Good ones Marg...lots of truth in some of them.thanks 

[LarryEA]

All were funny,,,, sume were great

 

[amazingkevin]

22 hours ago, wombatie said:

Ever wonder about those people who spend $5.00 each on those little bottles
of Evian water?Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section
in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)

OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one person
enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives
a race car is not called a racist?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and U.P.S. were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final
exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the
mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The'
and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?

 

Marg

 

Oh Marge you went to the moon and back for theses gem,excellent summery