Valerie,
Reading your post brings back a memory that I have about loosing our granddaughter to an accident at the beach. It has been the most difficult loss our family has had to go through and even after 15 years, it still is hard. Things will eventually get a little better but never goes completely away. But then, we never wish for the memory of all the wonderful times we had with our granddaughter to ever be gone completely. I can not express the sadness I personally feel from your losses. I think the scroll saw will help you some and keeping busy doing things that please you and others it truly a blessing.
I want to welcome you to The Village. I live in Eastern Oregon but grew up in the Portland area. Travis, the person who owns and runs this sight, also lives near you in Vancouver. Travis has posted many great videos on pattern making and other things. I hope you take the time to explore as much here as you can find the time to do. Also I believe it is important for you to log on here, often because you will soon find that the people on this sight are extremely friendly and supportive and if you long on and post comments on other's post, you will quickly feel right at home and before you know it, you will have many new friends, from all over the world that you will soon feel you have known all your life.. Good luck as you explore the world of scrolling. If you have any questions about anything to do with your new hobby, do not hesitate to ask on the forum and you will find the results of such will amaze you.
Dick
heppnerguy